Morale: Things we do that kills people’s morale cont’d

The reason we have chairs in the stadium is so that people come around to cheer the players as they watch on. Every athletes strength  comes from the fact that they have fans who believe in them and are cheering them and their morale is built.


4. Ignoring people’s feeling: everyone want to be loved even the person you think is incapable of loving. Everyone wants someone who gives them special attention and knows their want and needs and how to attend to them and when that does not happen you find some withdrawing into their cocoon and some take out the frustration using different means. You have a friend or a love and you are insensitive to their feelings or behave like it doesn’t matter and cause many of the troubles we have in the world today because they felt abandoned by their friends. Show them you care even about the minute details because it might just be important. It’s when you see this friend that you are all over that person but when out of site then it’s out of mind for you. Help them to be better person, encourage them. Sometimes it’s just your voice that needs to be heard to tell them they can push through while sometime your financial support will do the magic. What has kept me writing since I started this blog is not the passion for writing but the encouragement of friends and my fiance who are constantly reading and commenting. Their love is my strength, their support is my tenacity. Encourage your friends today, don’t kill the morale.

5. Insult: my oh my! Some people’s tongue are sharper than two edge sword. They cut and tear, they wound and open sores. Their mouth is filled with venom. They don’t even know how to greet without insulting. I was in a bus the other day when another bus who didn’t have a side mirror and was trying to leave one lane to another almost crashed into our bus. The first thing a woman in the bus would say was, “you will never prosper” in yoruba language. I was in the front sit and it was my side he was about to hit but I didn’t say anything because I knew it wasn’t intentional and he quickly apologized. Venom is some people’s breakfast which they give lebraly. And such cause fight especially if you don’t know what that person has been going through. When I see women insult their husbands I am so shocked and I wonder if these women know they are insulting themselves and causing themselves pain. No matter what a person does, the Bible says “soft answer turned away wrath while harsh words stir up strife”. The day I decided not to to use words such as stupid, idiot, and the likes on people they disappeared from my dictionary. They sound alien to my ears anyway. Make a decision today to bless and not curse. Especially your loved ones.

6. Abusive of their qualities: this is a tendency that humans are prone to, abusing the qualities of others. We take for granted a person’s gentleness, quietness, selflessness, patience, generosity thinking we are smart. We respect those who intimidate and manipulate us. We tremble for proud and obstinate persons. Never take for granted those people who pour out their life for you because a time will come when they will feel struck on the face and change and became hardened and tough. All done in response to build their morale which you have tried to kill.

7. Lack of encouragement: everyone likes a sense of fulfillment. There are times  a person is doing well and they only feel better if acknowledge by a loved one and there are times that are tough and encouragement from inside will keep them going but when it seems they can’t find your support by your lack of words or kind words or your seemingly indifferent attitude it can destroy their morale, their urge to push through. Never be stingy with kind words, words that strengthen. Criticism is something people do without being invited and for people’s heart to survive criticism they become philosophers but the truth is don’t be always quick to criticize but encourage and share your ideas that can help the person do better. Where you need to rebuke, do it in love. A successful person needs a morale and to have that needs your encouragement. Never kill a morale.

Let me tell you a story. When I was in Primary school I didn’t like mathematics at all, I passed all my subjects but the best I had in maths was 49% and that was a good day. The day I finished from primary school I was one of the best pupils but without maths. When we got home from the graduation ceremony my neighbor pick up my report sheet and she said, “Noka you did well but why did you fail maths?” I boldly answered, “I hate maths”. At that point my mum came in and she scolded me saying my father loves maths, she loves maths so where did I get my hatred of maths from, that she never wanted to hear such nonsense again. She said “as you are going to secondary school if I ever hear that you fail maths you will be in trouble”. You can be sure that I never took her threats for granted. When I got to JSS1 I told myself that I must love maths, I must know maths and I put my whole effort in mathematics. At the end of first term I came 38th position out of 196 students in my set but I was satisfied because I wanted to please my mum. Then at the end of second term I came 3rd position and I was so excited. I showed my mum my result she didn’t say a thing so I assumed she didn’t see it. So one day while pounding yam outside I said to her with so much enthusiasm, “mum, I came 3rd in maths in my whole set this term”. You know what she said, where were you when someone came first? No need to tell you I was crushed. I thought she would say you that hated and failed maths in a class of 38, you tried, keep it up but you can do better. After that day I never attempted even coming 3rd again. I did whatever I could do and whatever I got was it. Where people were competing in class I wasn’t found there but you can be sure that today I’m in love with maths and there are days I miss maths so much that I look for a maths textbook to solve. The truth is in my mum’s heart she wanted to encourage,sshe meant to spur me forward me but she didn’t. That’s something I see many parents doing. If everybody comes first in class then no need to give position. Appreciate their effort before you criticize them. You think if you tell them you tried they will relent. No! every child want to please the parents just to see approval in their eyes. My mum is a great mum, today she doesn’t act like that, at least I hear her tell my younger siblings they did well. Guess she learnt to correct the error she made with me with my younger one. But that one time was enough to go along with me even to the University. It’s very important to build someone’s courage, their morale

4 thoughts on “Morale: Things we do that kills people’s morale cont’d”

  1. I love that you rounded it to morale.. I always try to be kind and generous and give everyone the benefit of the doubt, slow to anger out of the love for people because you never know what somebody is going through.. (Mathew 22:42- “you must love your neighbor as yourself”) but it was very interesting how you brought it back to the fact that not only do people need love but they need encouragement too or morale..
    if you get a chance I posted something similar today called Fate of Flowers please check it out if love your feedback 🙂


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