Tomi Adesina, is a distinguished fiction blogger, screen writer. She graduated from Bowen University where she finished with a first class in Microbiology.
How I started writing.
Hmmm, writing found me. I have always been writing stories as far back as I can remember which is when I was seven.
How easy did the writing career come along for me?
I have had my fair share of disappointment in writing and the first of which was when I couldn’t afford the money to get published. I was fresh out of high school and quite upset so I gave up on my writing, since it was almost me reading me. (And there were my brothers who would listen to my stories. I would create series which I would tell them for days and they never did end. I got tired and hooked off on another story)
When I got into the university, I went there with some of my handwritten novels. A particular friend was always reading them from my first year and she always had kind words for me. I was encouraged but never acted on them. I really had given up at that stage.
However, in my third year, another friend of mine read a novel of mine from my laptop and was in tears afterwards, I was stunned and after she was calm and we spoke about how I really didn’t care about putting me out there as not only didn’t I have the resources for them, I was just not interested. But then, she mentioned blogging to me…it was after then that I started blogging fiction. It was the best decision I ever made regarding my writing. The rest is history.
What I studied and how I feel about it.
I studied Microbiology in Bowen University and I don’t regret it. I am proud of that Microbiologist, Tomi and this Tomi. The writer you know. The writer I Am.
My motivation has always been to write. There is a lot to say. I do it better when I write it down. And I can only write more, because as time and tide flies, there’s a lot more to tell…so much to tell. I get to fall in love with words everyday and so it’s just beautiful to write.
What I do currently
Currently, I am a screenwriter with several TV credits to my name and an Indie Filmmaker with a produced docudrama (Her Lines) and a short film in postproduction.
I took a huge leap towards Screenwriting in my final year (It all started out as a joke to me because I just wanted to try something new ‘briefly’ but then, God always has plans and I have been there since late 2013.
Some of my works
Please Break My Heart
Dear Future Husband
All Fun and Games
Beautiful Stranger Clandestine
Two Weeks to Go
Broadway (soap opera)
Deadline (TV series)
Her lines (Docudrama)
Honestly only God can direct your path. The most important thing is to follow your dreams, be that person that God wants you to be. you can go wrong. Its never too late to start neither is it too early to begin. Make right choices.
One thing that for ages past and ages to come, at least till the end of this world will not go into extinction nor grow stale is LOVE &SEX, although after sex goes into extinction love will remain. But these two words as well as phenomenon has been abused, misused and misplaced, yet they still haven’t lost their original meaning or concept or intent.
There have been several books, songs, articles, columns about love and/or sex and there will still be more because these two are topics that are not exhaustive. Several people have several definitions for love and several people have different motives for sex. Some go to the point of believing there is nothing like love or that love died a long time ago but the truth is they keep searching for love to fill the hollow in their heart because love is not dead. So the big questions here are:
What is love?
According to Musa Zekeri’s words(in Mystery of One Flesh), Love is a warm and kind feeling of liking, admiration, fondness and tender devotion without limit leading to self-giving and self-sacrifice…
Love is the grace that works to achieve the highest good for the other while sacrificing self and self-interest.
Love is friendship!
What is sex?
Sexual activities can be everything from kissing to intercourse – from fondling and touching another person’s body in a sexual way. It’s a physical, mental and spiritual activity in which people touch each other’s bodies in a sexual way, kiss each other, etc., physical activity that is related to and often includes sexual intercourse. Sex ia also Sexual Intercourse (as anal or oral intercourse) that does not involve penetration of the vagina by the penis. Sex is a spiritual thing.
What love is not?
Love is not sex nor is love about sexual activities.
What ladies think about love and sex
On a general note; that Love and sex are synonymous. You give sex to show love and gratitude as that’s the ultimate price you can give.
What Ladies need to really know
Sex is not the way to show love nor gratitude. There are no favours that are equivalent to your heart nor your body nor your emotions. You deserve every good thing done for you.
To show love to a person not your husband is to respect and do anything under the help of God to help him. The next time he tells you, “if you love me, let’s have sex”, know he is working on your psyche.
What Men think about Love and Sex
Love and sex are two separate things. I don’t have sex to prove my love, a man would say. Sex is more like a biological process for them. Ever wondered why a guy thinks it a conquest when he gets in bed with a girl or why a guy believes a girl he would marry, he would touch her? It’s because sex is not love for them.
What a Man should Really Know
Many guys think it a great to have sex randomly and take advantage of the woman’s emotions. On a general note, a woman feels safe and protected when she is with a man that does not violate her but respect her. That doesn’t demand more than she can give but will go the mile to give to satisfy you. Every time you get up from a woman you leave a hollow in her.
Sex is not a game of conquest. The fornicator and adulterer, God will judge. Sex is beyond a biological activity, it creates an emotional attachment, a bond especially in the woman’s heart.
Is SEX totally separated from LOVE?
Sex was original designed as a way of expressing love within the confines of marriage but due to the depravity of a man’s heart that came about after the fall, when man fell from his real estate and became animals, higher animals, sex became abused and as the animals behave, became a means of getting off tension, venting ones anger, relaxing and enjoying money.
Sex is a gift and should not be abused for its designer will demand an account of you.
When Sex Becomes abused
Sex becomes an abuse when an individual engages in masturbating or pleasuring yourself sexually, rape, homosexuality.
Why do we have sexual urge when we are with someone we Love?
Sexual urge is a gift, a normal part of growing up. To have desire for someone you are in a relationship with is normal. It brings to mind that you would want to please this one sexually, give that person that pleasure that they want. But since Love is not self-giving, is not glad about injustice but bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, since love is patient then you will wait patiently. Once the limit is crossed, trust is breached, fear and resentment can set in. Loss of confidence can set in and both parties can become vindictive then it’s better to help yourself and your partner by protecting the other person’s interest.
What do I do About the Sexual Urges even when I’m not in a Relationship?
Feed your mind with the right things, surround yourself with the right people, don’t dwell on such thoughts, DISCIPLINE is of utmost important. You don’t have to satisfy every desire. You are a being with will and you are responsible for all your actions. Don’t always get involve in suggestive discussions that arouse the desire or urge. Above all, hate sin, fear God.
You need help if…
If you abuse sex, you are a sex maniac, you don’t respect others opinion and take undue advantage of them in this matter of sex. You need to talk to somebody, a spiritual head, your parents and to God. You must be delivered from anything that has a strong hold on you. You must not be a slave to anything. Sex is made for you and not you for it.
The truth you should Live with
Every sexual activity and that includes masturbation, oral sex, anal sex, vaginal sex, fondling, smooching, kissing, outside marriage is a sin. It doesn’t matter what the society says, God’s foundation standeth sure and the Lord knows those who are His. Let he that nameth the name of the Lord depart from evil. 2Tim 2:19
Ask yourself this today, tell “you” the sincere truth and we can move forward today.
What do you live for? Who do you live for? What’s your driving force? Who is your driving force? What keeps you going? Who keeps you going? Why are you doing what you are doing? When was the last time you tried something new? What are your shadows? Why do you have shadows? When last did you give up yourself to place smile on others face? When was the last time someone’s smile lighted up your day?
If you have answered these questions and your answers are centered on yourself, ambition and fear then you need to take a look out of the window and see that you are just one of the numerous human race, you could be a granule of sand on the sea shore that needs the rest to make it worthwhile, for its texture to be felt.
But if your answers are love, God and others then we are on the right way, the way to making a difference and leaving an impact.
Share your answers with us, it would be appreciated.
Every morning, when I woke as a child, I ran to do everything and to do it right. When I finished the dishes, I did the floor, clean all the surfaces and equipment in the kitchen, went to the toilet and made sure it was a heaven, a place for good meditation and shading of tears if you have some like I did and then came to scramble some breakfast. Days that there were laundry to do, I went for it immediately afterwards and then I remembered that I also needed to be tired and I went to my room to find solace in my bed. 10minutes was all it took and I hear, “what have you done that you are sleeping? You are so lazy” I forgot to tell you that I did all that work so that I don’t hear that word; LAZY but it always come to that. It didn’t take long before I was beaten for some error I made and you can be sure it wasn’t a friendly beaten at all. I always wanted to do things right and feign so much strength so everyone be happy that I forgot I was just a child. And by the end of that day, I had done so many things wrong by their judgement when I thought I tried. Well done, you did well was more like a Christmas present if I ever got one…
One thing some of us forget is that life does not expect perfection from us but excellence and dedication. A jack of all trade and master of none is also failure in all. The statement, “whatever you know how to do, do it well” is applicable everywhere. Running here, running there doesn’t make anything good of us.
Some of us sit and wonder why things are never right, sometimes it’s because we don’t do it right. And sometimes it’s because we forget that making mistakes is not all it takes to be a failure and then we quit. Sometimes we need to make those mistakes to learn from them. Mistakes they say, is the best teacher and sometimes I put it this way, others mistake is the best teacher while other times I say your mistake is the best teacher.
I tell people what Solomon actually told us first, “Never be afraid of anything, for your fear would always catch up with you”. Solomon experienced it first and shared it in the bible but I didn’t understand till I encountered it. NEVER BE AFRAID TO FAIL, NEVER BE AFRAID TO MAKE MISTAKES, if not you would soon become its slave and failure will be your companion.
Innovations, Talents, Gift, Dedication, Determination are all good and their importance will never lessen but so also are MISTAKES. They are good; they are stepping stones to better learning and greater achievements. So the way you handle what you call good, handle mistakes like that, like some great opportunity. When I saw this work of art, I was sure I dint come from one day of practice but many days of mistakes and then came this beautiful piece of excellence…
…off course I never got well done because while I was concentrating on avoiding any mistakes that would earn scolding and shouts I ended up doing them and all they could see from my actions were acts of insubordination and flagrant disobedience. The energy I was to use to do things right where focused on not making mistakes. I never understood it then for I felt I wasn’t in the least bit appreciated but I understand it now.
You might have other views about what my childhood should have been but I realized that when I decided not to please anyone anymore but leave the normal way, I made less mistakes. The only mistake I forgot to make was to make a mistake!
It is true that when a man stays in the dark for too long, he begins to see clearly and this is the case with many Nigerians living in poverty. It is no news that quite a percent of Nigeria’s population leave in abject poverty but painfully a lot have accepted it as a way of life to the extent that they regard wealth as the prerogative of a selected few or more like ritual and blood money.
Take a look at the last election; I found it ludicrous seeing Nigerians struggle for face caps and T-shirts especially the youths. Some political contestants shared tin-tomatoes, rice and other items but I must admit that these petty items successfully bought the conscience of some electorates. It is in this country politicians claim heroic status by customizing sachet toothpaste and with guts throw biscuits to people on the streets while they wave two fingers in the air from their open roof stretched cars and in excitement people fall over each other to pick biscuits from the floor. In appreciation, the people chant songs in local dialects to celebrate a man who has virtually done nothing for them but has temporarily solved their hunger problem.
Unemployed youths and other low income earners are not exempted as they would do anything to spread a false gospel of a thieving politician as long as they are compensated with data bundles and little cash to feed for the moment. It was just two weeks ago one of the popular internet warriors confessed to me that during the period of the election, he was given 5GB weekly and N20,000 each month he participated in responding to messages that will affect the credibility of his candidate.
Poverty is like a plague and its endless manifestation on our people gets so scary that one is forced to believe that the present economic reality is a deliberate attempt by the ruling class to sustain the gap between the poor and the rich for selfish motives.
How do you describe the Kaduna State Beggars Association who recently threatened to pull down the government of Gov. El-Rufai? It indeed goes a long way to show you the danger of poverty and when begging has become an unofficially registered profession and they find dignity in begging. How do you describe the large crowd that come out in protest when the EFCC arrest public officers? How do you describe the shameless display by the women who came out Unclad to protest the arrest of a former governor of Delta State in 2010 despite poverty ravaging the land? How do you describe the protest by some Igbo youths in Enugu to prevent the sack of Stella Oduah despite the miracle she performed with the huge amount spent on purchasing bullet proof vehicles or even the shameless Bayelsa youths warning the EFCC against prosecuting Sylva? In all of these, politicians enjoy the loot alone but when called for interrogation, they are quick to give as little as N500 each to the poor who carry placards with warnings in attempts to stop the EFCC from doing its job. The people are mentally imprisoned and the politicians capitalize on this fact by depriving them of basic necessities.
Last week there were fears over cholera outbreak in Udu Local Government of Delta State and with special thanks to God, our fears were allayed when the Delta state government debunked the claims but the reality on ground is the fact that despite the huge allocation received by Delta State, many communities do not have portable water. Residents of Udu Local Government fetch water to drink from the well while some go to the stream to get water to drink but these are the same people who come out to sing praises of their representatives and stage massive protests at any mention of probe. A probe is simply a thorough investigation into a matter and even though former Governor Emmanuel Uduaghan is an itsekiri man like me, I’ll be most delighted to see him probed. I have not accused him of anything but Nigerians must stop ethnic bigotry and demand for good governance.
As Nigerians we must ask ourselves, how has the government impacted on the common man on the street? Has the government made life easy for me by providing basic amenities like portable water, accessible roads and hospitals among others? Do I have value for the taxes I pay? If your answer to any of these questions is negative, your governor can be considered a failure. You will agree with me that it certainly calls for deliverance when youths lacking access to these basic amenities spit fire over social media in defense of the same governors or representatives who have stolen from common patrimony.
Let me use this opportunity to remind the bigots and the poor men used as touts during elections that these political thieves they defend fall sick and are flown abroad for immediate treatment. Let me also remind these bigots and poor men used as touts that the children of our public office holders attend Foreign Universities where the academic calendar is uninterrupted but the poor men can only see pictures of these foreign universities on blogs. Let me also remind them that the life in developed countries and life in Nigeria can be described as day and night. It is deliberate wickedness on the part of our leaders who tour developed countries and find it difficult to replicate what is seen abroad in Nigeria.
It is time to demand that children of public office holders school in Nigeria maybe then Nigerian Universities will get the needed attention from the government. It is also time to demand that public office holders receive treatment in Nigeria maybe then the government will focus on building a state of the art facility that will measure up with foreign standards and issues of striking medical workers will become history.
We must remind ourselves that the effect of bad leadership is not necessarily felt by the leader but the citizens and this explains the rising insecurity. Painfully that poor policeman who cannot fend for his family is given arms to protect the overfed politician. Painfully that poor policeman who resides in the barracks with dilapidated structures is made to beat up poor men in the name of protecting his Oga. We must remember that people who died in the last elections were all children of the poor.
You must remember that the peanut received from politicians will take care of a meal for a short period but the gains of good governance are everlasting and this explains why politicians will bid you farewell after the expiration of their tenure to relax in countries that are properly planned by sincere leaders.
As I open your eyes to the truth, kindly pray that the Former Petroleum Minister recovers fully and God should give her strength so that she can hurriedly come back home to account for her years in the Petroleum Ministry.
On this day of Independence, we have decided to take a closer look on what has bothered us for a long time. We have decided to deal with the little foxes that spoil the vine. We start with the students and their plight.
Most students operate with the belief that a good grade is what is required to live successfully thereafter.
Often times I ask myself these four questions…
Q1. Do you think our present situation as a country (Nigeria) has anything to do with the school system and quality of our education?
Here’s my take:
Most definitely. I believe over 95 percent of secondary school kids are ill suited for the courses they’re studying. You can run any random survey and find that 8 out of every 10 students will say ‘they gave me’ the course I’m studying. Just like I was given zoology
I also believe that schools need to develop personality profiles for each student and it should be measured from primary school up to university level and that profile should be a guide for what each child should study, since it is an inventory of his gifting.
Besides, the quality of education available in a nation is directly proportional to the productivity of that nation. Garbage in, garbage out.
Q2. As a country, what can we do to at least reduce the adverse effects?
Well, I believe that every school should offer enterprise development courses and make it mandatory for each student. Personally, I believe the NYSC should be scrapped and should give way to a 1 year entrepreneurship and employability programme to get Nigeria working again.
Q3. A number of students and graduates believe good a grade is all that matters to ensure a successful life. Is there more?
Having a good grade is important. Though I graduated with a second class lower maybe because I never read to pass or used the general “La cram la pour method”, I don’t advise others to do the same. But I believe personal development begins where formal education ends. A number of graduates or young folks study only to pass, but not to apply. I believe examinations are not a test of intelligence, but of preparation.
However, good grades don’t guarantee a successful life. That has to do with discovering purpose, living with passion, working with excellence and not giving excuses.
Young Nigerians believe that if you have talents, you don’t need to worry about formal education to make it. What do you think the Nigerian youth with this mentality should know?
Talent is just raw natural gifting from God, but it needs to be honed into skill through diligent, developed and disciplined focus.
A lot of young artistes think making music is just about getting a beat, placing a catchy, low IQ chorus and a lot of gibberish together, but real musicians can read music, play instruments and write music. My advice is educate your gift.
Some students believe that not everyone is cut out for entrepreneurship. What is your take on this?
I believe that not everyone is cut out to be a number 1; some folks are to serve faithfully as Number 2. In the same vein, not everyone can or will be entrepreneurs. Some will be what I call ‘INtrepreneurs’, that’s CEOs in employment and they’ll be fulfilled doing that. Everyone must find their place and fill it.
Nigerians are known to be loyal to brands, but we see many entrepreneurs springing out from the same line of business.
Q4.How can a budding entrepreneur straight out of school or the NYSC stand out?
Business is very dynamic. I believe every entrepreneur must find their niche in order to stand out. Let me give you a clear example. A lot of people want to get into the events management business, but all they are concerned with is the glitz and glamour, setting up the backdrop and the pretty lights etc. But a little known niche in events management is cleaning the venue (before and after). Only an entrepreneur will notice that niche and leverage on it.
“It is not what you have that limits you but what you have but don’t know how to use”.
According to Dr. Myles Munroe, ‘when the purpose of a thing is unknown, abuse is inevitable’. Until one discovers the appropriate use of their gift set or skill set, one is sure to abuse it. To discover your passion, you need to discover what comes to you naturally and what bothers you every time you see it going wrong.
Caption these: Greatness in life isn’t all about your degree but about God’s decree, Do not always read to be affluent, read to be accomplished, “Sabificate is what makes way for a man not Certificate!!!