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Virginity vs Marriage? 


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​This virginity thing. It seems a big issue for you. And it’s generating awkward contradictions in you. It’s the hidden reason you’re struggling with your emotions. You’re conflicted inside because you know you have no standing.
Okay, here’s the thing: In life, you must learn to use appropriate yardstick to judge and determine issues. You don’t use a ruler for example to measure the purity of water. That’s an inappropriate instrument though a measurement. Neither do you use a stethoscope to measure the pressure of a tyre. It’s a wrong pressure gauge. In the same manner, you can’t use dutifulness in church as parameter to determine the suitability of a conjugal prospect. It can serve as corroborative factor or even corroborant, but it cannot be the primary basis of consideration. A good church worker is not necessarily going to be a good wife, though the word “good” is common. Two separate issues. I mean, that she can sing down the heavens doesn’t mean she will make you a good wife. Vocal dexterity is not qualification for coupling. Choir is not a marriage context. If you base your marriage decision on her ability to sing, you’re clearly using a wrong means of measurement. A singing voice for example cannot help you determine if she’s clean or a relative of Unhygienix of Asterix fame. That’s how people arrive at wrong marital decisions. They use wrong parameters. And such a mistake can prove very costly to a man in particular.
Now let’s come to your issue. You want to marry a virgin. But there’s an inherent contradiction in your quest. You can’t test her virginity unless you sleep with her, in which case she’ll no longer be and you won’t marry a virgin. The truth is, all you have is her word. It’s what she says she is that she is at this stage of your relationship. You can’t even verify her word without compromising your faith. Now, here’s the irony of your quest for a virgin wife: You’re not a virgin yourself. At some point before you embraced your faith you engaged in sexual congresses. In other words, you have a past. In the same vein, she also has a past. But you’re willing to embrace your past but not hers.

As per your wife you want to be the man who “hit it first”, but tell me, the women you hit first who’ll marry them? In essence you can’t take what you dished out. The idea of someone being there before you consternates you. You can’t handle it, ironically. The reason she’s not giving you the confirmation you want on her virgin status is probably because she’s not. She likes you, wants you, but you’ve put impediment on progress: demanded for something she can’t amend retroactively. And so she can’t lie about her past, and she can’t tell you the truth either. Stalemate. You somehow think that her non-virginal status is indicative of a colourful and flavourful past. Perhaps. Same applies to you I guess. But you’ve not told me who she really is, just her sexual history. You didn’t indicate if she’s a loving and kindhearted woman. Whether or not she’s caring. You’ve not told me whether she’s trustworthy, whether she’s someone you can entrust your life to. And it’s not as if you’re accusing her of promiscuity. So the broken hymen just indicates she’s had sex in the past.
What I’m trying to say is, virginity is really not a test of whether someone will make you a good wife. You’re using a ruler to measure tyre pressure. Now if virginity is a psychological barrier for you, I’d say don’t go into marriage with her. You’ll keep judging her in the present because you can’t deal with her past. I’ll advice you keep your imagination in check. Stop imagining someone in the past on top of her. It’s unhelpful. But you have to reconcile yourself to the possibility you may not marry a virgin. Being real! Learn to be real in life. Your generation is very experimental with sex, and sexual imagery is so pervasive. Your music videos are highly suggestive. Think Anaconda. You’re being conditioned to accept raw sexuality. That conditioning generates results. Makes kids want to experiment with sex. 
Be careful that your quest for virginity doesn’t make you miss a very wonderful and loving woman. Perhaps the first thing you ought to consider is what you want in a wife, what should you want in a wife. If this woman meets your criteria of a good wife to you I’d say go for her. You don’t want to regret not marrying her. If you marry an alternate, note that the virginity qualification will end on your wedding night. Then the marriage begins. You don’t want a wife who qualifies for only the wedding night do you? What happens in the days and years ahead? The faith you avow is very much anchored on Paul’s immortal words: If any man (or woman) be in Christ, he or she is a new creature. Old things have passed away. All things have become new. It’s either you’re going to accept God’s word concerning this lady or not. The decision is yours.
If you don’t however, that will be most unfortunate. I’m sure you’ve read about Pharisees. They were fond of using differing standards- one for themselves, another for others. Jesus had a running battle with those guys. You’re not a Pharisee are you? You can’t judge this lady by one set of standards and use another for yourself. It’s phariseic #emeritusdesk

Written by: Olanrewaju Lawal

THE LIE (Series 13)


Rose stood at the open door looking at who was standing in front of her. She wanted to run into his arms and hug him forever and protect him from all the ills of the world. She wanted to be the one to take any blow this cruel world wanted to mete out to him, she wanted to hold his head against her chest and tell him all was well and tell him sorry for all the pain he had gone through in the hands of all those hoodlums as she stared into his beautiful eyes and well combed and dressed afro hair. But she couldn’t move her feet from where she was standing. She wanted to ask him what she had done wrong to make him send him those hurtful words but her mouth couldn’t open. She wanted to at least say good morning but the words got stuck in her throat as she looked at him.

God he looks stronger and healthier and definitely more handsome with the scar on his forehead.

Tears wanted to trickle down her face but she caught herself.

“ Rose , good morning”. Segun finally broke the silence. “At least can you let me in?”

Rose said sorry and moved out of the way.

“Where is Bisola?”

“I will call her for you right away. Welcome. How are you doing now?”

“I’m fine, thank you”.

 

Helen was on her way out of the kitchen when she met Rose.

“ Who is around?”

“Segun”. Rose answered

“Segun?” Helen said with a look of surprise

“Is he strong enough to come out now?” she asked and left to see Segun without waiting for an answer.

 

“Bisola”, Rose called her sister.

“Segun is around and has asked to see you”.

The moment Bisola left, Rose sat down and wondered if she was just Segun’s game all along and why her sister is being insensitive, she couldn’t understand. They are friends or at least used to be before she told her about Segun.

 

Segun’s eyes drifted to Rose while he sat. She looked beautiful to him and sweet but how that sweetness was just a façade told him a lot about himself. How her innocent looks masked her cruel nature left him wondering. He wished he came here to see Rose alone because all he could think of while battling for his life was Rose but instead his desire for Rose could just be secret for now while he stays with Bisola at least out of appreciation while he figures what he is really going to do.

Bisola came out to meet her mum talking with Segun comfortably seated on their sofa. She didn’t like this at all, when was she going to wait before she it gets to her turn to have Segun to herself. Helen turned to Bisola who was standing behind her. Get him something to drink before you go to prepare something for him.

Bisola left for the kitchen and ordered Rose to take a pack of juice and glass to Segun and come back to boil rice and heat the vegetable for Segun while she went back to the sitting room and sat down praying her mum ends her discussion immediately.

Helen couldn’t help noticing the uneasiness in her both daughters around Segun. While it seemed Bisola was flirting with him, Rose looked rather sad around him and then she remembered her dream and she knew that instance that she needs to hold a late night discussion with her two daughters who she just noticed have really become women happening to be in love with the same boy.

**********

Bisola lay on her bed smiling to herself.

“Today is the best day of my life”, she thought to herself.

Segun on his first outing came to her place. My act of betrayal was worth it after all. And she played the scene in her head again. She had taken Rose’s phone that day in the kitchen when Segun called and she had cut the call and sent messages to him using Rose’s phone telling him he is a liar and a cheat and deserves to rot in hell and not to survive that attack. How she is better off without him and that she has found a better man to take his place in her life. She sent another message to tell him she never loved him, she was only making use of him to fill the vacuum she felt after the loss of her father. Bisola smiled; I didn’t know I could do such. Then she continued to play the scenes in her head. She went out and told Rose that she wants to take the picture of Rose and Adekola Cole and when she was done, she told Rose she wanted to make use of her phone and then she went to her room and sent the images to Segun on WhatsApp, telling him that that was her new boyfriend, that Segun should never call her number again. Segun kept calling to know what was leading to the insult but she kept cutting the calls and deleting his messages and the one she had sent using Rose’s phone and at the end blocked Segun’s number on Rose’s phone.

When Rose came to collect her phone she didn’t know all that had transpired on her phone.

Truthfully, I didn’t think this would work as easily as it did on both of them but it did. This holiday was a beautiful one after all. I wished I could write an essay on how I spent my last holiday, Bisola said out loud with a sigh of relief.

*************************

Rose sat on her bed looking at her clothes neatly arranged in her box. The holiday was finally over and she was grateful for this time to finally return to school.

All I need right now is a break from this stranger that was my sister. Rose said to herself.

Segun had come to her house today but she didn’t get any explanation for his actions and hurtful words. She laid her head on her bed and cried; longing for someone to talk to when she remembered Adekola. Rose picked up her phone and dialled his number but no response on the other end.

THE LIE (Series 6)


Helen Alade was at home preparing for the return of two of her daughters from school. Rose was through with hundred level and Bisola was entering four hundred level. How she wished Samson was here to see how their daughters’ lives were taking shaped. They were beautiful and it was no secret that they were very attractive. When young men come knocking on her door for these girls, how was she going to handle it alone? Of a truth Samson’s family had been supportive but they were not her husband. She didn’t know how she was going to handle the role of the father and mother. God this is too ponderous for me. She didn’t know when she heaved out so loud neither was she aware that tears were flowing freely down her check. She had never envisaged this loneliness that Samson’s death had offered her freely with no price at all. She would give anything to have him by her side again. Just then her son’s image crossed her mind and she smiled. He was beginning to take the form of his father so much that she could almost call him her husband. This gave her some respite and gave her a feeling of nearness to her husband. Helen decided to lie down on the sofa to ease the pressure she was feeling on her waist and slowly she drifted into sleep.

Helen jacked out of sleep. She had a dream and it didn’t look good to her. She saw Bisola and Rose in an enclosed room fighting over a piece of rag; they both were bitter and were not ready to let go. Then she called out to them with the aim of calling them to order. Rose looked at her direction but Bisola would not. Rose finally left the rag and walked away sad without a word to either of them. All of a sudden, water filled the room and Bisola stood there until the water was up to her neck but by now it was late, she was beginning to drown and all her effort to rescue Bisola was abortive. In this struggle she woke up.

What could this mean? She asked herself.  she looked at the wall clock in the sitting room, it was 4:05 PM. Bisola would be here anytime from now. She got up and headed to the kitchen to prepare their dinner, Bisola’s favourite.

*********
Bisola and Ronke were headed to their hostel after writing their last paper when Bisola noticed a black SUV parked not too far from their hostel with someone that looked like Segun. As they draw closer she noticed it was Segun.

Ronke, see Segun standing beside the black SUV under the tree.
Is that the Segun you always talk about?

Yes! Bisola said without noticing the tremor in Ronke’s voice.

Are you sure he is the same family friend you talk about?

What sort of question is that? Bisola retorted

I’m sorry. I was just making sure you knew what you were talking about. But since you know, I will wait here while you go and say hello.

No need to wait Ronke. Go ahead; I will join in the hostel.

Segun was busy with his phone when Bisola stepped up beside him. I guess you are waiting for someone. She said in order to call his attention

Segun raised his head instinctively. Bisola, here you are. I was going to wait another fifteen minutes to dial your number. How was your exam? He asked as he rested his elbow on the SUV smiling down at her

It was great. And just like that I am a final year student.

Segun smiled. To mark your remarkable achievement, I want to take you out for a treat. And since you haven’t told me about any boyfriend, I believe I won’t be disturbing any earlier arrangement.

I am supposed to head home today and I have called mum to tell her I would be coming home today. Maybe I should tell her I would be hanging out with you and so would be coming home tomorrow.

No need for that Bisola. You would still be going home today. I will take you out for a while then drop you off at the nearest bus stop to your house and a taxi would take you home. I won’t keep you too long.

Ok! Then let me get my things from my hostel. Can you help my roommate to the gate where she would board a bus to her place?

If your roommate would not mind my help, Segun said.

Ronke are you ready? Bisola asked as she entered the room

This is the longest hello I have ever seen, this kind of hello that takes forever.

Ronke don’t be ridiculous. Anyway, hurry. He is waiting for us.

Ronke looked up in surprise. What for? Has your hello not ended?

It was me he came to see. He is taking me out to celebrate my transition from 300 level to 400 level and the success of all my papers. So I asked him to help you outside the gate.

Thank you but I will pass.

Ronke, why? It’s just to make things easier for you.

Bisola you are keeping the young man waiting. I can take care of myself. Just take care of yourself.

It’s also possible he wants to tell me how he feels about me today. Bisola said as if it was a knowledge that suddenly dawned on her and her excitement increased.

Bisola, be careful not to throw your pearl to the swine for not all that glitters is gold some are just cut out glass. You know I’m older and more experienced.

You sound like you ken something of Segun. Don’t worry I can take care of myself. I won’t just throw caution to the wind because I am head over heels. Ronke dearest, take care, I will call you to update you of our little outing

Ronke bit her lips as she watched Bisola move out with her things.
This is not happening to me again, not again; Segun dating another friend of mine. I hope I have not been jinxed with Segun. I ought to have graduated two years back but thanks to Segun I had to leave my school and I had to start all over. And tears streamed down her face as she thought of all that had happened.
Segun was dating her best friend Jumoke and he got her pregnant. Immediately he discovered Jumoke was pregnant he said he was no more interested. He had told Jumoke that if she wanted his attention she would have it but she knows what to do.

Ronke, I am pregnant and I have decided to get an abortion. Segun treats me like thrash right now and the only way I can have him back is to get an abortion. Jummy as she fondly called her friend told her one night. Jummy was not asking for her counsel but was telling her as a matter of information. She wished Jummy had never told her anything then because that knowledge changed her world. And when she was starting to pick up her life together, Segun enters it again.

Jummy finally went for an abortion. And who did she meet to help out with information and direction on who could handle it, the third in rank to a cult who was also a rival group to Segun’s cult? After the procedure she had rested at his place before he brought her to the hostel in the night between 7 and 8 PM. Segun had gotten wind of the information that his girl was in this guy’s place. He got his men together for that was enough ground for them to start another bloody war. It was then they knew that Segun was a cultist. Jumoke was caught in the gun fight that night and that was how her chapter was closed. Segun knew that I had knowledge of the whole incidence so I had to run before he came for my life. Jumoke’s death was difficult to get over and she had lived with the pain all this while.

And now that bastard shows up for my friend again. I won’t allow. I will think of a way of preventing another calamity without compromising my identity. I can’t tell Bisola this story; that would be putting both of us at risk.

Ronke laid her head on her pillow and cried all over for Jumoke and now for Bisola then sleep came and took her away graciously.

THE LIE (Series 4)


This is the eighth time Segun was calling her since her matriculation 10 days ago. Rose was beginning to enjoy the attention she was getting from Segun and it didn’t look harmful. Segun was smart and he flowed easily with her. He seemed to understand every subject she raised for discussion even things that pertained to law. He was like her dad. Rose felt like Segun was her dad’s son.

Today, he told her he would come check her in school. He said he had something to do in that area and when he is done he would drop by at her school. That piece of information got her so excited and she could not explain why.

Rose went to her wardrobe to look for one of her nicest gowns, tried on so many before she decided on the last gown her dad bought her before his death. It was one she cherished but above that it was one that accentuated her figure. It was a knee length pink flowered gown with some embroidery work in the chest region

*****

Segun was finally here. He was looking all handsome on his blue jeans with a stripped blue shirt. He wore a nice hair cut with his beards neatly shaped around his face.

Rose took Segun to a comfortable place around the lecture halls.. They sat on the chairs built under the tree. They were designed like a garden which students called lovers nest.

It looks like school is beginning to have its toll on you.

Well, it dawned on me that I am in the university now after my matric, when lectures and assignment took on such intensity that, you can only imagine half of it. Rose said smiling. Moreover, university is different from secondary school and the way to graduate well is to start well from day one.

That’s the way a smart girl talks. I love girls whose skulls are not empty and I dislike beauty without brains. Segun said as he smiled at her. He felt his smiles always worked magic on her and so being generous with it was the least he could do. He was beginning to enjoy all the attention he was getting from her.

The weather was gracious to them as it offered its gentle appeal to them on plate of a cool and bright day. The time went by and it began to feel to Rose like time had wings. She could only ask it not to take this new source of joy away like it took her dad using the cold arms of death as its weapon.

How was it like when you were in the university? The lectures, lecturers, assignment, seminars and you know all the rest. Rose said as she looked into Segun’s eyes.

Segun, smiled with his lips tilted to one side and it only accentuated his pink lips.
Studying engineering was fun for me but I had more fun in other things which also make up the university system. But I still graduated with a fair grade.
So that means university is not only about lectures and lecturers. I think I should skip all the other details and leave them for another day.

OK! Just tell me how you managed School work and fellowship. Rose said.

Rose, I think I should hit the road now before the traffic makes me its captive and I can’t but obey its commands.

You would understand how the system works as you move up the ladder.

They exchanged hugs as Segun took his leave and Rose headed to her hostels.

********

Segun looked at his phone as he was returning from the bathroom to see whose call he had missed half expecting it to be Rose calling to check on him if he had gotten home safely. He was smiling as he looked into his call log.

Bisola! He said with a little bit of surprise.

Why did Bisola call? Maybe Rose told her I checked her up. Let me call her back when I am ready to go to bed or let me do it now before I fall asleep he soliloquized. I will call her now and get over with it.

It was funny that Bisola’s call coincides with his visit to her sister. She hadn’t been told about his visit and their conversation was interesting. She was calling to check on him. He didn’t know why this was looking funny to him but he was enjoying it. He thought within himself as he lay on his bed. I think I like these two sisters, they know how to make a man’s life interesting and who wouldn’t like an interesting life?

THE LIE (Series 3)


Four months had rolled by silently since the death of her father. Rose had become more withdrawn as the days went by. Everyone, especially her mother was beginning to think she was becoming mentally ill with her weird character but Bisola maintained that Rose was fine. She was only dealing with her grief differently.

Rose will come along soon, just give her time. Bisola told their mother.

But days ran into weeks and weeks into months; four months and she just hoped her daughter would allow her to be here for her on this her special day.

                                                     *******

This day was the day of her matric; she had gotten admission into the university upon leaving secondary school. She knew that if her dad was here he would have been the happiest man in the world but he wasn’t, he was gone somewhere into the shadows where he is just a wind. She can’t touch him but she could feel him.



The tears were about dropping from her eyes before she caught herself. Dad wouldn’t want me to cry, he would want me to be strong for myself and my mum. She said quietly to herself as she laid on her bed

How she missed him, she felt so lonely, he was her motivation and she had looked forward to this day because he was around but now she looks forward to other days because she hopes she would wake up one morning to realise it was a long dream. It felt like he was asking too much of her, too much it is for her to hold onto what is left in this vacuum where she has found herself. So much so that she didn’t realise how thick the wall she had built around herself had become and how deep her pain of loss has sunk. She felt she was a moving shadow and when the sun will shine through her dark clouds she didn’t know, when a man will come and fill this void that is if she ever allowed she didn’t know.

Rose, isn’t that your phone ringing? One of her roommates called her attention.

It was her sister on the phone.

Hello Bisola

Rose we are close to your hostel, please come out to meet us

Alright. Is mum with you?

Yes and a…never mind. Meet us outside.

Rose got down from her bed and headed for the mirror who had become her constant reminder of who her father wants her to be.
It doesn’t show that I cried, right? I am a strong woman and that I should remain.

Using her hands to strengthen her plain but beautifully cut and designed turquoise blue gown, Rose headed out of the door hoping that they should have arrived by now.

                                ******

Mum, what have been thinking about?

Bisola’s words brought her mum back from her long travel to her thought island, the place where she had consigned herself to since the death of her husband. She had not giving any soul the privilege of visiting her sacred chamber. Her thought island was where she longed to always escape to and they were too hallowed to allow any sinful eye a glance.

Mum! Please don’t say, nothing, I don’t want to tell you will do.

Bisola, this is not about me today. It’s about Rose and we are here to support her. I feel my presence would not be sufficient for her.

Shade Alade closed her eyes and heaved, if only that would give all the relief she needs.

Just then Segun said, It’s well. She would come around today. Don’t worry about her today. Leave me to worry about that.



                 *******



Rose stepped out just as the driver marched the brakes. Rose was all smiles because she knew that was what she needed to do to keep everyone happy. She headed to the car and hugged her mum, greeted her and came down to head to her sister’s place. And then she saw Segun. She couldn’t contain her smiles. She greeted them both and sat down to gist with them.

Rose, you look great.

Thank you, Segun. How come you didn’t give me a hint you would be coming when we talked on the phone two days ago?

If I had told you, would you have been surprised?
Rose grinned in response.

So, Rose! How is campus life treating you? How does it feel to be in the uni as a fresher?

Just then Bisola’s phone rang.

Bisola, Rose called. Why are just stirring at your phone? Answer your call. It’s not ladylike to ignore a gentle man’s call. Rose said with sarcasm and they all laughed.

It’s one of my classmate that keeps disturbing me. He won’t face his primary reason his parents are paying good money to keep him where he is. All these skirt chasers, not like they have anything to offer. They claim love but the truth is that they want to steal your apple.

Hmmmm. Ride on counsellor. Rose said while Segun decided not to get himself tangled up with these ladies words. He had rather pretend deaf.

I think we should get going to the matriculation venue now.

So you get sitted at the right time for your matriculation ceremony to commence. Their mum said.

The driver turned on the ignition and straight they headed for the venue.

THE LIE


Its been a while I blogged bt I’m happy to be here because I sure missed blogging but I missed you more. So here is a new fiction series that I hope you enjoy as you follow…

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THE LIE
(Series 1)

It was a cool Sunday afternoon; the sun stood in sky but held a gentle appeal over the residence of Alade Samson. Cool breeze blew and the trees moved in response to the flow.

Rose sat in the balcony of the kitchen taking in the cool air. This is one of the days she likes, when the sun is out but not scorching and the breeze blows with a gentle whisper with no interruption and then her mind can drift with its rhythm into her fantasy where she hears the birds sing in the trees and she can sing along with them because she knows their songs. Because they would be singing with her of her lover and how her prince charming is coming with a chocolate box and holding out to her a parcel. In the far away distance she hears her love that is yet to show his face calling out her name.

Rose, she felt a strong tap on her left shoulder. So you are here and I have been shouting your name.

She jerked back to her senses. It was her dad at her back talking to her in his gentle but firm voice.  

What are you day dreaming about this time that you lost your ears or maybe the sun burnt it?

Dad, I’m sorry. Just that I didn’t hear you.

Go get me juice with some cake, Alade Samson said as he strolled back into the sitting room.

Rose went into the kitchen without a word. Her father was a patient man; she knew that and hardly raised his voice except for obvious reasons.

Rose had been the closest of her four siblings to her dad of which she was the second. She had just finished SS2 and was preparing to enter SS3 where she would be preparing to write her WAEC and NECO. Entering SS3 was a great achievement so far and her Father couldn’t hide his delight. Rose and her mum didn’t make good friends because it seemed they were constantly at each other’s throat and Rose couldnt explain why but she could only guess that the tension between them was because of all the attention she was getting from her dad which her mum thought was due her. Alade had always thought the rivalry unnecessary.

Rose, her father called out to her. Please attend to the door.

She came out with the glass of juice and a slice ok cake, dropped it on a stool beside her dad and headed straight to the door.

Who is there?

Mr Johnson, the visitor outside answered.

She opened immediately. Good evening sir

Good evening Rose. How are you doing this evening?

Very well sir.

You were exceedingly beautiful today in your outfit in church.

She grinned so widely and said, “thank you sir”.

Segun is coming, he is getting some items out of the car, please hold on for him. Johnson said as he went to the sitting room through the pre-sit.

Segun came carrying a carton of wine with two loaves of bread on it. Rose good afternoon, how are you today? Fine she answered.

There is a basket of fruits left beside the car, please help me with that.

Alright, she said and headed to the car to get the basket of fruits.

Johnson! My amiable controller! What a pleasant surprise. We saw in church and you didn’t tell me you would be coming around. You are welcome. Alade and Johnson exchanged a pleasant handshake.

How is your wife? Johnson asked

She is fine. And she is inside taking a nap.

Bisola! Alade called out to his first daughter who was at home for her 200 level semester break.

We have a visitor, please come attend to him.

Just then Segun entered with the things in his hands and dropped it close to the wall dividing the sitting room and dining room.

You are here with your son, it’s a nice one. Segun prostrated to greet Alade.

God bless you my son. How are you today?

I’m fine sir. Thank you

Just then Rose entered with the basket of fruits which she took straight to the kitchen. She came back to take the carton of wine and loaves of bread.

Thank you Johnson for the gifts

My pleasure, Alade. No one comes to the house of the king empty hand

Alade smiled and shook his head. Its always being in your nature to whine and today you haven’t done differently.

It’s being a while we visited each other and I thought that since I have my leave, I should see you and find out how the family is doing.

Rose came in with a pack of juice and two glasses since that of her father was still there and served it down while Bisola was fixing something for them to eat.

Bisola came out a while later with Amala dished out in her mum’s chinaware and a bowl of Ewedu soup and stew with assorted meat in another bowl and invited them to the dinner table. They gisted about everything and anything over their meal, Segun wasn’t left out of the discussion.

Thanks for the wonderful meal Bisola. You overfed us and I’m sure if your mum was awake she wouldn’t have done anything different. Bisola smiled and packed the dishes into the kitchen

Alade, Johnson called.

Yes, he lifted his eyesbrows from his plate of food.

Your daughters have grown into beautiful women. I think you should consider buying a dog to guard your gate. And both of them burst into laughter.




An Interview With Self


Writer: Olanrewaju Lawal

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Who are you?

I’ve been struggling to answer this question all my life, because I don’t really know. I just know that I’m a kind-hearted person with fears, worries of what tomorrow will be. Sometimes a simple being, other times a complicated being whose cronies find difficult to understand his eerie character. In short, I don’t really know myself. And I hope that someday, somehow I will be able to answer this question correctly with the right words.

What do you think is your purpose in life?
I wasn’t born with a manual so I never knew what my purpose was while growing up as a kid. In fact, I was never curious about Writing and it never crossed my mind to do so. All I wanted was just to live a good life and that was it. But during my teenage years, I discovered it myself.  I discovered something that would later change my perspective about the world. I started asking questions from knowledgeable people to satisfy my curiosity. Why do we exist? Where do we go when we die? What happens after we die? These are the questions that reveal my purpose in life to me. So my purpose in life is to make a difference in people’s lives, to obey the Creator of my life knowing that I will make account of my deeds to Him, someday.

What are you afraid of?

I know this very well, so I’ll go straight to its answer. I am afraid of not waking up the next day. Every day, before going to bed at night, my thoughts are always filled with, “What if I don’t wake up tomorrow?” “What will happen to me if…” and other macabre thoughts. Simply put, I’m afraid of death. Not because I don’t know that death is inevitable, but because I don’t know what will happen to me afterwards and that terrifies me a lot. And because there’s no guarantee of a life well lived, of a prosperous life after my death, of a life-time legacy which I so much covet for, so this makes me fear a lot. And nothing can stop this fear until the “Certainty” approaches me.

What does freedom mean to you?

Freedom can simply mean the will to execute whatever one wishes as long as it doesn’t deter others’ freedom. Freedom is abstract and it’s subjective not quite objective as some people try to define it. There’s no concrete definition of what it is. Yes, it’s a birthright just like choice is a personal birthright. We’re all born as free agents but what we do with our freedom counts a great deal. My definition of freedom is different from others but there’s a consequence for what I use my freedom for. So in this case, freedom, for me, is a restricted, subjective, abstract phenomenon which can only be defined and defended by self.

What does it mean to be human?

It’s difficult to define. Human is the most complex and complicated being in the whole universe. Anytime I see anything related to human, this is what comes to mind: love, cruelty, ingenious, hypocrisy, passion, hatred, jealousy, empathy, creativity, generosity, mistakes, failures, success, disappointments, joy, laughter, beauty, cowardice, vulnerability, courage, and then I see human again. Because all these things make humans human. Without all these, human will never be human again. So to be human is to accept who you are and work at being better.

What’s religion to you?

Good attitude and character, this is what religion means. It’s a means to purify the soul of man from greed and hatred in order to achieve nobility. When this is lost, then the purpose of religion is lost.

Why are you interviewing yourself?

Because I love to write and because I want to answer some questions which have been running through my mind for a while.

What does writing mean to you?

Writing, for me, is a struggle against silence. By silence, I mean those things that we were told not to talk about or do without any logical or rational explanation; the things that have become a shackle, holding us back from pursuing things that’ll cause us to progress in life.

#EmeritusDesk

A little here, a little there…summing up to a bunch of NONSENSE!


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I sat on my table, placed my legs on my chairs and I couldn’t help laughing at myself simply because I don’t know what I believe anymore, did I just say simply? Everybody seems to be making some sense these days and every quote is a punch line which I can’t help but gulp down my throat. I wish it enters my stomach where I know that sometime later it will pass out through the right source; but no, it enters my heart from my throat and leaves me a little confused. A little confused here and there and then I have a bunch of big confusion and I don’t know what I’m living out anymore.

Maybe we should look at some together:

I hear that love is a beautiful thing and it’s good to be in love. I guess you have heard that too. Then, I node in agreement.

Next I hear that love does not exist or that love is dead and nobody loves anybody. You can only like somebody. There I go again, I node in agreement like I have received some life line to save me from impending doom.

The question is how can I live these two when I accept both?

All men are the same; evil and deceitful but then I hope for a man like my father. Tell me where they meet please.

All Women are trouble and problems and some would say; necessary evil but behind every great man is a woman. When evil started aiding greatness or when problems define virtue is what I’m trying to understand because I believe both.

Being good doesn’t really pay. It’s better to be bad and live long than to be good and die early. Its sound true to me

Then next the police are looking for the bad guys in town for breaking the law. Then I say why not leave them or should they?

I could go on and on about this start of turmoil my environment has created in me and it doesn’t help that I don’t know the truth to hold on to. This could really be about you right now. I want you to know that because someone, especially someone you respect says it doesn’t make it right, because someone does it doesn’t justify it. Get up and feed yourself with the right information.
What you believe in is what works for you. You can’t be bigger than your concept.

You ask how:
Read, Read, Read. Great minds read. Read books on matters you are in conflict about. Feed your mind with things to help you grow.

Talk to the right people, elders and spiritual heads or counsellors.

Mind what you watch and the music you listen to because many times they give a vague or truncated view of what really is.

If you are a Christian, then the bible is the best way out but off course with the help of the Holy Spirit.

I SEEM NOT CONTENT WITH MYSELF


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The Fact that One is Rose and Another Lily does not make either of them less a flower.

I smiled as I looked into a picture of a damsel smiling all by herself. She could have been a reflection of me. She was beautiful to me and I seemed to love her pure essence but I have never thought I was good enough looking like that.
How many times do we look at things and wish it was ours, look at people and wish it was you, flirt with someone’s dude or girl and which you had them instead of yours and you really forgot God gave you the best shoot but you really never go around appreciating them.

I once read a response from Victoria Beckham; David Beckham’s wife to red carpet host and I was wowed. I said to myself this is a wise woman. The question Victoria was asked was about a lady flirting with her husband and that it seems her husband was enjoying it. How does she feel about it? She waved it off with her hands and said that is not a problem and when the red carpet host kept bringing up suggestions she answered, don’t worry I will take care of it. She didn’t put down her husband nor did she put down herself.

Sometimes we don’t know how power we have in ourselves, we don’t get to appreciate in ourselves nor do we believe in our abilities, this is a major difference between a success and a failure. Remember it is written, God has given you all need for life and godliness.
Peak says, “Its in you”.
Be grateful, contented with all God has endowed with for its sufficient for your use for right now. He would give you more and that includes your abilities and looks when the need arises.

FOR ALL YOU MUSIC LOVERS…IT’S OUT…514


For all you music lovers the anticipation is over…

After an unexplained delay in releasing the much anticipated #TheSpotlight album, 514 Entertainment finally and unexpectedly releases the label’s debut compilative. In order to appeal to their fans for the prolonged wait, 514 Entertainment is releasing the album as a free giveaway project. The house apologises for the delay but compensates with sizzling hot tracks from the 11 track project, each single being a banger in it’s own right.

 

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Go ahead and cop the most anticipated album of the year to the advantage of your own blessedness..

ARTISTE: 514 ENTERTAINMENT

Title of Album is, “THE SPOTLIGHT”

Hit these LINKS to get your songs:

 https://www.dropbox.com/s/z3jtl3a6wrlqxmj/514%20Entertainment.zip?dl=0

#1 OVERDOSE (Ft. Hyness, 2nz, AwBee, Jay’ Major) (Prod. Jedi)https://www.dropbox.com/s/s1nxw5jsem9h8iw/01%20Overdose%20%28Ft.%20Hyness%2C%202nz%2C%20Aw%27Bee%2C%20Jay%27%20Major%29.mp3?dl=0

#2 TEMPER (Ft. St. Solomons,AwBee, Jay’ Major) (Prod. Jedi) 

https://www.dropbox.com/s/19oprgk8vkm1my0/02%20Temper%20%28Ft.%20St.%20Solomons%2C%20Aw%27Bee%2C%20Jay%27%20Major%29.mp3?dl=0

#3 OLD ROGER (Ft. Steezzy, SheddySwags, Chenz) (Prod. Steezzy)https://www.dropbox.com/s/qx9npxtz3pymcm7/03%20Old%20Roger%20%28Ft.%20Steezzy%2C%20SheddySwags%2C%20Chenz%29.mp3?dl=0

#4 BACK TO LIFE (Ft. Sandra, Jay’ Major, Chenz, AwBee) (Prod. Jedi)https://www.dropbox.com/s/e5p6vpo3mfxe8sn/04%20Back%20To%20Life%20%28Ft.%20Sandra%2C%20Jay%27%20Major%2C%20Chenz%2C%20Aw%27Bee%29.mp3?dl=0

#5 IMMORTAL (Ft. Prince, Centurion, Steezzy, Willz) (Prod. Jedi)https://www.dropbox.com/s/6co1jhjhk2l1hkl/05%20Immortal%20%28Ft.%20Prince%2C%20Centurion%2C%20Steezzy%2C%20Willz%29.mp3?dl=0

#6 #LightItUp (Ft. Jay’ Major, D-Cube, Chenz, Jedi) (Prod. Jedi)https://www.dropbox.com/s/0da8pm3yib6e8qk/06%20Light%20It%20Up%20%28Ft.%20Jay%27%20Major%2C%20D-Cube%2C%20Chenz%2C%20Jedi%29.mp3?dl=0

#7 COMMERCIAL (Ft. Prince, Jay’ Major, 2nz, Steezzy) (Prod. Jedi)https://www.dropbox.com/s/puzbnl4o45x9xuo/07%20Commercial%20%28Ft.%20Prince%2C%20Jay%27%20Major%2C%202nz%2C%20Steezzy%29.mp3?dl=0

#8 APPETIZER (Ft. Hyness, Jay’ Major, 2nz, Chenz) (Prod. Jedi)https://www.dropbox.com/s/bpclunick54yrcb/08%20Appetizer%20%28Ft.%20Hyness%2C%20Jay%27%20Major%2C%202nz%2C%20Chenz%29.mp3?dl=0

#9 #R3 (RAY’S, RADIATION’S & REFLECTION’S) (Ft. AwBee, Jay’ Major) (Prod. Steezzy)

https://www.dropbox.com/s/5c979dcxb0xc6sf/09%20%23R3%20_Ray%27s%2C%20Radiation%27s%20%26%20Reflections%20%28Ft.%20Aw%27Bee%2C%20Jay%27%20Major%29.mp3?dl=0

#10 THE MOVEMENT (Ft. Jay’ Major, Chenz, AwBee) (Prod. Jedi)https://www.dropbox.com/s/hwgbi8nwggpytrz/10%20The%20Movement%20%28Ft.%20Jay%27%20Major%2C%20Chenz%2C%20Aw%27Bee%29.mp3?dl=0

#11 CHAMPIONS (Ft. Majek, Centurion, 2nz)https://www.dropbox.com/s/k2fmq58oqa8ji80/11%20Champions%20%5BBONUS%20TRACK%5D%20%28Ft.%20Majek%2C%20Centurion%2C%202nz%29.mp3?dl=0

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