THE LIE (Series 5)


What seemed like a blossoming friendship becomes a budding relationship. Rose couldn’t help falling in love with Segun. He was filling many of the holes her father left. She had come to live with the reality of her father’s death and that was because of Segun, she thought to herself.

She looked forward to his call everyday but the outcome of today’s call she wasn’t expecting. She had thought about it several times but when it came, she was left confused.

He had just told her he loves her. He said he wasn’t asking for anything, he just wanted to let his feelings out. She was almost hitting herself for not saying anything in return.

How could I have gone mute, acting like I was transfixed? I could have just been the statute of Herbert Macaulay that instant. I had longed to hear those words and when it finally came, I just went confused.

But he always understood her and always comes to her rescue, she smiled as she thought.
I know you love me too but you don’t have to say anything, it will come out just in time without me pressuring you. He had said to her.

She was grateful for his words. He knew how to give the tonic needed for the moment. His words were always soothing. Rose was grateful for this moment Segun was in her life.

I might consider telling Bisola when I get home next week for the semester break.

********

Tomi Johnson’s phone rang at 2:30pm. His secretary was in his office searching for a file he had asked her to get for him about an hour ago.

Sir, your phone has rang twice now, why are you not answering it. It might be an important call.

Have you found the file I asked for?

No sir.

So why don’t you mind that and let me mind my phone.

He saw the look of suspicion on her face. I have a new policy of avoiding strange numbers as much as possible. All these people asking for one favour or the other from the office of the State Controller of the customs can weary one.

Yes sir. She responded to dismiss him but she was beginning to smell something fishy starting with this file of Mr Alade Johnson she was looking for.

Johnson’s phone rang the third time and he decided to answer in other to evade any other question from his secretary.

Hello, Sir. Good afternoon sir. Sorry for disturbing you. I know you are a very busy man. The caller said into the phone.

Hello. Who am I talking with? Johnson asked.

It’s Mr Ade.

Oh! Bro Ade how are you?  I don’t have this number

Sorry about that, it one of my other lines.

It looks similar to one of the numbers that called me yesterday to.., never mind. Any news for me?

It’s about your son’s NYSC posting. I have been able to attach him to the place of his choice. He said he wanted Oyo state.

Why Oyo? I thought he would be wise enough to choose Lagos or Abuja or Port-Hacourt.
He just knows how to ruin my plans. Just when I give him the opportunity to make a choice so I can see what he is capable of handling…Anyway let him do whatever he wants this time. Thank you very much Bro Ade. God bless you.

Yes sir, Thank you sir. Enjoy the rest of your day. Bye

He could hear his heart singing a song of relief. It wasn’t the call he had dreaded all day. They had given him till 2:30pm or he would regret what they were going to do with him.

He picked up his phone to call Segun but had a rethink. He wasn’t going to waste his time on Segun’s choice. He had more serious matters to deal with.

Miss Secretary, you are taking too long to bring out that document.

Sir, I can remember that the last time I handled that document you asked me to leave it on the table that you would take care of it and that was 3 months ago.
Well, now same person is saying you should find it. So find it!

         *********

Bisola, you have been quiet for a greater part of the day. Is all well with you? Ronke her roommate and course mate asked.

When was the last time you loved a guy that it feels your heart is almost reaped out of its cage?

So who are you in love with? You haven’t told me about loving any guy before so this one must be quite a catch.

His name is Segun. The same guy that has been calling me for a while now. I’m unable to put him out of my mind. What should I do?

I think you should wait till you get home next week, maybe he is waiting for you to come home before he tells you how he feels about you, then we would know what next to do. How often does he call you?

Almost everyday.

So that means he feels the same way but men like to take their time. I would also advise you give him some space. It won’t be too healthy for you to get attached to him. For all you know he might just be enjoying your company and might not be ready to make any commitment. That’s who smooth talkers are. It’s also possible he is taking advantage of your heart.

I don’t think so Ronke. Segun is such a great guy. My sister would even like him for me. She feels at home with him, he knows just how to calm my mum down and enter her world. He is simply fantastic. I’m not sure I can wait for another two weeks to hear him tell me he loves me. He is just the boyfriend I have dreamt of having.

Anyway, Stand up let’s go and read for our next paper which is only next tomorrow by 8:30am.

Ronke why are you acting like you don’t know what it means to feel this way. You have had two boyfriends.

Bisola, I didn’t throw my head away for love. My books were still priority. Moreover I didn’t suck up in bed dreaming about someone who has not made his intentions known to me. I think it’s time you even define this relationship with this family friend of yours. I don’t like people who don’t know what they want. Stand up let’s go now!

Bisola’s phone rang and it was Segun.

Hello Bisola, I want to wish you success as you prepare for you next tomorrow’s paper. Study hard and don’t allow any distraction that is not me. I’m a sweet distraction that won’t cause you to fail. But make sure you concentrate and take care of yourself. Good night dear.

Thank you Segun. Good night.

Bisola smiled as she dropped her call and Ronke shook her head.

It was time to read and nothing was stopping Ronke, not even Bisola’s love Story.
Can we go now lover girl?
Yes we can.

THE LIE (Series 4)


This is the eighth time Segun was calling her since her matriculation 10 days ago. Rose was beginning to enjoy the attention she was getting from Segun and it didn’t look harmful. Segun was smart and he flowed easily with her. He seemed to understand every subject she raised for discussion even things that pertained to law. He was like her dad. Rose felt like Segun was her dad’s son.

Today, he told her he would come check her in school. He said he had something to do in that area and when he is done he would drop by at her school. That piece of information got her so excited and she could not explain why.

Rose went to her wardrobe to look for one of her nicest gowns, tried on so many before she decided on the last gown her dad bought her before his death. It was one she cherished but above that it was one that accentuated her figure. It was a knee length pink flowered gown with some embroidery work in the chest region

*****

Segun was finally here. He was looking all handsome on his blue jeans with a stripped blue shirt. He wore a nice hair cut with his beards neatly shaped around his face.

Rose took Segun to a comfortable place around the lecture halls.. They sat on the chairs built under the tree. They were designed like a garden which students called lovers nest.

It looks like school is beginning to have its toll on you.

Well, it dawned on me that I am in the university now after my matric, when lectures and assignment took on such intensity that, you can only imagine half of it. Rose said smiling. Moreover, university is different from secondary school and the way to graduate well is to start well from day one.

That’s the way a smart girl talks. I love girls whose skulls are not empty and I dislike beauty without brains. Segun said as he smiled at her. He felt his smiles always worked magic on her and so being generous with it was the least he could do. He was beginning to enjoy all the attention he was getting from her.

The weather was gracious to them as it offered its gentle appeal to them on plate of a cool and bright day. The time went by and it began to feel to Rose like time had wings. She could only ask it not to take this new source of joy away like it took her dad using the cold arms of death as its weapon.

How was it like when you were in the university? The lectures, lecturers, assignment, seminars and you know all the rest. Rose said as she looked into Segun’s eyes.

Segun, smiled with his lips tilted to one side and it only accentuated his pink lips.
Studying engineering was fun for me but I had more fun in other things which also make up the university system. But I still graduated with a fair grade.
So that means university is not only about lectures and lecturers. I think I should skip all the other details and leave them for another day.

OK! Just tell me how you managed School work and fellowship. Rose said.

Rose, I think I should hit the road now before the traffic makes me its captive and I can’t but obey its commands.

You would understand how the system works as you move up the ladder.

They exchanged hugs as Segun took his leave and Rose headed to her hostels.

********

Segun looked at his phone as he was returning from the bathroom to see whose call he had missed half expecting it to be Rose calling to check on him if he had gotten home safely. He was smiling as he looked into his call log.

Bisola! He said with a little bit of surprise.

Why did Bisola call? Maybe Rose told her I checked her up. Let me call her back when I am ready to go to bed or let me do it now before I fall asleep he soliloquized. I will call her now and get over with it.

It was funny that Bisola’s call coincides with his visit to her sister. She hadn’t been told about his visit and their conversation was interesting. She was calling to check on him. He didn’t know why this was looking funny to him but he was enjoying it. He thought within himself as he lay on his bed. I think I like these two sisters, they know how to make a man’s life interesting and who wouldn’t like an interesting life?

THE LIE (Series 3)


Four months had rolled by silently since the death of her father. Rose had become more withdrawn as the days went by. Everyone, especially her mother was beginning to think she was becoming mentally ill with her weird character but Bisola maintained that Rose was fine. She was only dealing with her grief differently.

Rose will come along soon, just give her time. Bisola told their mother.

But days ran into weeks and weeks into months; four months and she just hoped her daughter would allow her to be here for her on this her special day.

                                                     *******

This day was the day of her matric; she had gotten admission into the university upon leaving secondary school. She knew that if her dad was here he would have been the happiest man in the world but he wasn’t, he was gone somewhere into the shadows where he is just a wind. She can’t touch him but she could feel him.



The tears were about dropping from her eyes before she caught herself. Dad wouldn’t want me to cry, he would want me to be strong for myself and my mum. She said quietly to herself as she laid on her bed

How she missed him, she felt so lonely, he was her motivation and she had looked forward to this day because he was around but now she looks forward to other days because she hopes she would wake up one morning to realise it was a long dream. It felt like he was asking too much of her, too much it is for her to hold onto what is left in this vacuum where she has found herself. So much so that she didn’t realise how thick the wall she had built around herself had become and how deep her pain of loss has sunk. She felt she was a moving shadow and when the sun will shine through her dark clouds she didn’t know, when a man will come and fill this void that is if she ever allowed she didn’t know.

Rose, isn’t that your phone ringing? One of her roommates called her attention.

It was her sister on the phone.

Hello Bisola

Rose we are close to your hostel, please come out to meet us

Alright. Is mum with you?

Yes and a…never mind. Meet us outside.

Rose got down from her bed and headed for the mirror who had become her constant reminder of who her father wants her to be.
It doesn’t show that I cried, right? I am a strong woman and that I should remain.

Using her hands to strengthen her plain but beautifully cut and designed turquoise blue gown, Rose headed out of the door hoping that they should have arrived by now.

                                ******

Mum, what have been thinking about?

Bisola’s words brought her mum back from her long travel to her thought island, the place where she had consigned herself to since the death of her husband. She had not giving any soul the privilege of visiting her sacred chamber. Her thought island was where she longed to always escape to and they were too hallowed to allow any sinful eye a glance.

Mum! Please don’t say, nothing, I don’t want to tell you will do.

Bisola, this is not about me today. It’s about Rose and we are here to support her. I feel my presence would not be sufficient for her.

Shade Alade closed her eyes and heaved, if only that would give all the relief she needs.

Just then Segun said, It’s well. She would come around today. Don’t worry about her today. Leave me to worry about that.



                 *******



Rose stepped out just as the driver marched the brakes. Rose was all smiles because she knew that was what she needed to do to keep everyone happy. She headed to the car and hugged her mum, greeted her and came down to head to her sister’s place. And then she saw Segun. She couldn’t contain her smiles. She greeted them both and sat down to gist with them.

Rose, you look great.

Thank you, Segun. How come you didn’t give me a hint you would be coming when we talked on the phone two days ago?

If I had told you, would you have been surprised?
Rose grinned in response.

So, Rose! How is campus life treating you? How does it feel to be in the uni as a fresher?

Just then Bisola’s phone rang.

Bisola, Rose called. Why are just stirring at your phone? Answer your call. It’s not ladylike to ignore a gentle man’s call. Rose said with sarcasm and they all laughed.

It’s one of my classmate that keeps disturbing me. He won’t face his primary reason his parents are paying good money to keep him where he is. All these skirt chasers, not like they have anything to offer. They claim love but the truth is that they want to steal your apple.

Hmmmm. Ride on counsellor. Rose said while Segun decided not to get himself tangled up with these ladies words. He had rather pretend deaf.

I think we should get going to the matriculation venue now.

So you get sitted at the right time for your matriculation ceremony to commence. Their mum said.

The driver turned on the ignition and straight they headed for the venue.

THE LIE (series 2)


The holidays had ended and it was time for Rose to resume. Bisola had gone a week earlier and that had increased her eagerness to return to school. Being in SSS3 had been a lifelong dream and she couldn’t wait to begin her experience. She was finally going to be the senior of seniors. No prefect bossing her around. Knowing she was preparing for WAEC, and that will always be the talk of school gave her the feeling of an achiever and made her so elated.

Dad! Where are you? Rose shouted from downstairs. We are getting late. You know I need to settle down and prepare for tomorrow and we can almost predict Lagos traffic. Another word for Lagos is traffic

I’m ready. Why are in such hurry to get to school this time? I have never seen such enthusiasm since you entered that school. By this time he was right in front of her.

Let’s just say people change as situations change and please don’t ask me what I meant by that.

Rose. She turned towards the direction of the voice to see her mother standing by the door dressed. You forgot your purse on the chair or are you not taking that along.

Rose turned to her dad and gave him her questioning look. Yes she is coming along he said.

Yes mum, I will get it right away. Thank you

Today must be carrying something special, Rose told herself as she sat at the back seat of the car.

My mum following me? There’s got to be some explanation for this but I know better than to ask.

Maybe great things are about to happen to me. She smiled to herself and she slept off.

Rose woke up from her short sleep filled with strange dreams she couldn’t piece together as her mother’s voice roused her.

Wake up young lady. We are in front of your hostel. Get down and go clear yourself. Make sure you leave every “contraband” behind if you are carrying any.

Rose got and smiled. I’m ready to start this journey

******

The weather was frosty this morning as Rose stood looking outside the window of her classroom not exactly excited about writing her last paper this morning. The last paper for her WAEC examinations. Why wasn’t she happy? She couldn’t place her hands on it but here she was feeling a void.

If I was at home I would have told my dad how I feel. She thought in her heart as she placed her hands across her chest.

Oh God! I wish I wasn’t writing any exam today or I don’t feel in the frame of mind to do so. She said as she turned to go back to her sit. I want to revise but I feel restless. I hope all is well. Rose was unable to nudge the feeling away.



Rose, congrats to us. We finally are done with Secondary school. I guess your paper was fine. That was Shirley, one of her close friends.

So Rose, when would you be going home?

Today, as soon as my dad arrives?

Are you sure you are fine? You have been quiet all day and I don’t see the excitement of writing your last paper?

I don’t know what it is but I can’t seem to find my peace.  Maybe its nostalgia, I don’t know but I really can’t pin it down. When my dad arrives he might be able to help me out.

***

Segun! Yes dad!

I want you to come along with me to pick Rose from school. Her mother just called me to assist them in picking her. She would be expecting her dad or mum.

Alright dad. Let me get the car keys.

Rose, they have come to pick you. Her matron called her. She excitedly ran out only to meet her dad’s friend with his son outside.

She couldn’t help not noticing Segun. He looked especially handsome today with his black specks, stripped blue shirt on blue jeans to match his pink lips. Rose was beginning to secretly have a crush on Segun.

Rose, how are you? Segun broke into her thoughts. Bring out your things and let’s go home. Your parents are unable to come and pick you today so they asked my dad to help with the task and it was a pleasant task so we oblige without hesitation.

That is unlike my dad, what would have come up to prevent him from coming to pick me? Hope all is well at home?

All is well, Johnson said as Rose looked at his direction for an explanation for his silence and her dad’s absence.



There were unusually many foot wares outside her house. What’s happening, she asked? Oh, maybe there was a surprise welcome home party for her organized by her dad and that was why he couldn’t come to pick her. She smiled and ran into the house

But this does not look like a party but a gathering of mourners. “What’s wrong?” She looked around, saw her mum sitting on the long sofa with her head down and wailing seriously and her dad was no where to be found. Her sister was supposed to be in school so she didn’t bother looking out for her. She ran to her mum, what is wrong mum? And then her wailing increased. Where is dad and it became a loud cry.

Rose looked up and saw Segun behind her. What’s happening? She asked him.

Then Johnson held her close, Rose I want you to be strong for the news I am about to break to you. Your dad was involved into a car accident on his way from work yesterday and he didn’t survive it. He died.

Rose withdrew gently from his hands and headed straight to her room, took a shower, changed into one of her dress and came down to the kitchen to prepare something for herself and her dad to eat.

All the visitors were wondering what was happening to her but none could ask her. It was while Rose was in the kitchen she realised her sister was home and had been crying in a corner of the kitchen. Segun stared at her in bewilderment and couldn’t unravel this puzzle and all this started looking like a game he was interested in playing and winning.

Rose slowly finished her food after two hours and realised her dad wasn’t joining her on the table as was the usual custom on a return from school. She wondered who she would tell all the stories she had treasured in her just for this moment she was finally realizing was slipping away from her.

She cleared the table and headed straight to her room without saying good night but she was certain this was going to be her longest night and uncertain days ahead.


THE LIE


Its been a while I blogged bt I’m happy to be here because I sure missed blogging but I missed you more. So here is a new fiction series that I hope you enjoy as you follow…

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THE LIE
(Series 1)

It was a cool Sunday afternoon; the sun stood in sky but held a gentle appeal over the residence of Alade Samson. Cool breeze blew and the trees moved in response to the flow.

Rose sat in the balcony of the kitchen taking in the cool air. This is one of the days she likes, when the sun is out but not scorching and the breeze blows with a gentle whisper with no interruption and then her mind can drift with its rhythm into her fantasy where she hears the birds sing in the trees and she can sing along with them because she knows their songs. Because they would be singing with her of her lover and how her prince charming is coming with a chocolate box and holding out to her a parcel. In the far away distance she hears her love that is yet to show his face calling out her name.

Rose, she felt a strong tap on her left shoulder. So you are here and I have been shouting your name.

She jerked back to her senses. It was her dad at her back talking to her in his gentle but firm voice.  

What are you day dreaming about this time that you lost your ears or maybe the sun burnt it?

Dad, I’m sorry. Just that I didn’t hear you.

Go get me juice with some cake, Alade Samson said as he strolled back into the sitting room.

Rose went into the kitchen without a word. Her father was a patient man; she knew that and hardly raised his voice except for obvious reasons.

Rose had been the closest of her four siblings to her dad of which she was the second. She had just finished SS2 and was preparing to enter SS3 where she would be preparing to write her WAEC and NECO. Entering SS3 was a great achievement so far and her Father couldn’t hide his delight. Rose and her mum didn’t make good friends because it seemed they were constantly at each other’s throat and Rose couldnt explain why but she could only guess that the tension between them was because of all the attention she was getting from her dad which her mum thought was due her. Alade had always thought the rivalry unnecessary.

Rose, her father called out to her. Please attend to the door.

She came out with the glass of juice and a slice ok cake, dropped it on a stool beside her dad and headed straight to the door.

Who is there?

Mr Johnson, the visitor outside answered.

She opened immediately. Good evening sir

Good evening Rose. How are you doing this evening?

Very well sir.

You were exceedingly beautiful today in your outfit in church.

She grinned so widely and said, “thank you sir”.

Segun is coming, he is getting some items out of the car, please hold on for him. Johnson said as he went to the sitting room through the pre-sit.

Segun came carrying a carton of wine with two loaves of bread on it. Rose good afternoon, how are you today? Fine she answered.

There is a basket of fruits left beside the car, please help me with that.

Alright, she said and headed to the car to get the basket of fruits.

Johnson! My amiable controller! What a pleasant surprise. We saw in church and you didn’t tell me you would be coming around. You are welcome. Alade and Johnson exchanged a pleasant handshake.

How is your wife? Johnson asked

She is fine. And she is inside taking a nap.

Bisola! Alade called out to his first daughter who was at home for her 200 level semester break.

We have a visitor, please come attend to him.

Just then Segun entered with the things in his hands and dropped it close to the wall dividing the sitting room and dining room.

You are here with your son, it’s a nice one. Segun prostrated to greet Alade.

God bless you my son. How are you today?

I’m fine sir. Thank you

Just then Rose entered with the basket of fruits which she took straight to the kitchen. She came back to take the carton of wine and loaves of bread.

Thank you Johnson for the gifts

My pleasure, Alade. No one comes to the house of the king empty hand

Alade smiled and shook his head. Its always being in your nature to whine and today you haven’t done differently.

It’s being a while we visited each other and I thought that since I have my leave, I should see you and find out how the family is doing.

Rose came in with a pack of juice and two glasses since that of her father was still there and served it down while Bisola was fixing something for them to eat.

Bisola came out a while later with Amala dished out in her mum’s chinaware and a bowl of Ewedu soup and stew with assorted meat in another bowl and invited them to the dinner table. They gisted about everything and anything over their meal, Segun wasn’t left out of the discussion.

Thanks for the wonderful meal Bisola. You overfed us and I’m sure if your mum was awake she wouldn’t have done anything different. Bisola smiled and packed the dishes into the kitchen

Alade, Johnson called.

Yes, he lifted his eyesbrows from his plate of food.

Your daughters have grown into beautiful women. I think you should consider buying a dog to guard your gate. And both of them burst into laughter.




Help! I’m Behind Bars II


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I’m happy I have this time to continue my letter and please ignore what seems like a bad habit of not following protocols. A man in my shoes will definitely forget manners, a man behind bars that need urgent rescue. Please just know that your help is my biggest bait for I really am in dire need of help.

In my earlier letter, I mentioned that my second master is FEAR. Fear of the unknown, fear of failure, fear of making friends, fear of being hurt, fear of hating someone, fear of darkness, fear of not being loved in return, fear of being wrong and finally fear of FEAR. This I think has held me down so long I haven’t taken any major step in my life. It was fear that made me go to school and so my parents had to choose my course of study and now that I’m grown and they can’t make my decisions for me, I’m stuck. I’m afraid to take risk because I think I’m more of a pessimistic person even though when faced with the situation, I think I am being realistic, looking at my pros and cons and doing my analysis. I ask myself, “what if at the end of the day I am wrong?” since I never want to be wrong, I don’t even try. Not that I like it but I am stuck in this hole.

The thing is that I know fear has a limiting power, actually, a great limiting power. But I can’t stop myself. Its more like a head knowledge thing that hasn’t got a hold at my heart. Did I remember to tell you that I don’t have a job? I don’t and I think it’s partly due to the fact that when I go for interviews and I don’t want to be wrong because I’m afraid to fail it ends up that way. I show my fear but could it be some force actually working against me? Forces that don’t want my progress, or could it be fear of acknowledging my faults that I quickly want to attribute my problems to some forces?

Help me find answers for I am running back into my hole before I am found out. I will find time to tell you about the other part. I need independence, but I am even afraid to fight for it so come and take me out. And please remember not to give me the motivational talk that it’s only me that can help me because if it was so, I would have done that.



                   Still me,

                   Lawrence

Help! I’m Behind Bars


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Picture source: @IAMGABRIHEL

My name is Lawrence and I need your help. Maybe I should tell you a little about myself before I enumerate my numerous and voluptuous problems and maybe you could come to my aid and fix what has defied all my available solutions.

I am a 28 year old graduate with a second class upper division as one of my achievement. I went to one of the best federal universities in the country and I come from a family where we are comfortable. We are not rich but we can afford anything we need. I can be good at anything I set my heart on. I don’t come from a home with parents who are separated. My parents may not be best of friends but they can stand each other at least so I can say I have a lot of tranquillity at home and to add to it, I have very supportive siblings that never make me feel bad about any of my pitfalls and my longest laughter so far in life is awarded to my siblings.

You would have thought that my life is perfect and more than half of the population in the world would want my life but that is because they don’t know the half of my story. I am just a stranger in my own skin. I don’t know who I am or what I want. I have so many dreams but I am a captive, a slave and so I am not permitted to dream.

You might want to ask me who am a slave to and who sold me out but this piece of information I would gladly offer before you request. I’m a slave to fear, doubt and anger but I can’t tell you exactly who sold me out but I am thinking its either my parents or myself. Yes, I mean what I am saying. You are either smiling or surprised but I feel I am right and here is why;

Anger is one of my dad’s genetic makeup and it seems I unfortunately got that part of his gene but my mum is also the angry type so I don’t think I have gentleness recessive in me. So if anger is all dominant in me with no recessive trait how am I to help myself? To make matters worse, I pride myself in it, in the fact that my parents are this “no nonsense” people and that anger is in my blood. I like to tell people I get angry easily like its some virtue that I wear on my neck like a garland. So I could have also being the one to sell me self to slavery or maybe I decided to remain in it.

Then the next is fear, but let me tell you more about this in my next letter but meanwhile start preparing your answers and solutions to my problems.


                         

                                                           Signed,
                                Lawrence

An Interview With Self


Writer: Olanrewaju Lawal

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Who are you?

I’ve been struggling to answer this question all my life, because I don’t really know. I just know that I’m a kind-hearted person with fears, worries of what tomorrow will be. Sometimes a simple being, other times a complicated being whose cronies find difficult to understand his eerie character. In short, I don’t really know myself. And I hope that someday, somehow I will be able to answer this question correctly with the right words.

What do you think is your purpose in life?
I wasn’t born with a manual so I never knew what my purpose was while growing up as a kid. In fact, I was never curious about Writing and it never crossed my mind to do so. All I wanted was just to live a good life and that was it. But during my teenage years, I discovered it myself.  I discovered something that would later change my perspective about the world. I started asking questions from knowledgeable people to satisfy my curiosity. Why do we exist? Where do we go when we die? What happens after we die? These are the questions that reveal my purpose in life to me. So my purpose in life is to make a difference in people’s lives, to obey the Creator of my life knowing that I will make account of my deeds to Him, someday.

What are you afraid of?

I know this very well, so I’ll go straight to its answer. I am afraid of not waking up the next day. Every day, before going to bed at night, my thoughts are always filled with, “What if I don’t wake up tomorrow?” “What will happen to me if…” and other macabre thoughts. Simply put, I’m afraid of death. Not because I don’t know that death is inevitable, but because I don’t know what will happen to me afterwards and that terrifies me a lot. And because there’s no guarantee of a life well lived, of a prosperous life after my death, of a life-time legacy which I so much covet for, so this makes me fear a lot. And nothing can stop this fear until the “Certainty” approaches me.

What does freedom mean to you?

Freedom can simply mean the will to execute whatever one wishes as long as it doesn’t deter others’ freedom. Freedom is abstract and it’s subjective not quite objective as some people try to define it. There’s no concrete definition of what it is. Yes, it’s a birthright just like choice is a personal birthright. We’re all born as free agents but what we do with our freedom counts a great deal. My definition of freedom is different from others but there’s a consequence for what I use my freedom for. So in this case, freedom, for me, is a restricted, subjective, abstract phenomenon which can only be defined and defended by self.

What does it mean to be human?

It’s difficult to define. Human is the most complex and complicated being in the whole universe. Anytime I see anything related to human, this is what comes to mind: love, cruelty, ingenious, hypocrisy, passion, hatred, jealousy, empathy, creativity, generosity, mistakes, failures, success, disappointments, joy, laughter, beauty, cowardice, vulnerability, courage, and then I see human again. Because all these things make humans human. Without all these, human will never be human again. So to be human is to accept who you are and work at being better.

What’s religion to you?

Good attitude and character, this is what religion means. It’s a means to purify the soul of man from greed and hatred in order to achieve nobility. When this is lost, then the purpose of religion is lost.

Why are you interviewing yourself?

Because I love to write and because I want to answer some questions which have been running through my mind for a while.

What does writing mean to you?

Writing, for me, is a struggle against silence. By silence, I mean those things that we were told not to talk about or do without any logical or rational explanation; the things that have become a shackle, holding us back from pursuing things that’ll cause us to progress in life.

#EmeritusDesk

Colours in our Closet


Guest writter: Doyin Akintayo

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Sometimes in our lives. We all have pain. We all have sorrows. But if only we would just shut up and realise there are others who suffer worse things than we do, perhaps we would tread life with better judgement.

I run away from clingers. I know you do too. All they do is take, take, take. But they never give. I like to receive as much as I like to give. Giving without receiving feels draining. Receiving without giving feels like cheating. So, I ask that we do our best to give. That way, we find joy in receiving.

Do you seriously think we are the only ones in closets? 99% of the world is. They have only figured out a way to keep us in ours. When you come out, you’ll see.

Cloths in my closet, as well as yours, have colours. The closet is a dark place. That’s why we find it hard to see the colours. 99% of the world loves colours. They want us to show them ours. They want us to stay in our closets and still show them the colours of our clothes. Yet they say we are the confused ones. It’s zero help to let their confusion confuse us. They stay in their own closets far more than we (or they) realize. They know little about what they truly want.

I know. It may sound like gibberish. But think about it. Who isn’t looking for answers? Who isn’t hiding something? Who doesn’t have something to protect?

We are all looking for answers.

The colours of your clothes can give answers to those who need them. They’ll say you inspired them. They’ll say you gave them a reason to be true. They’ll say you gave them strength to win their battles. It won’t matter if you both shared the same closet. It won’t matter if you both struggled to come out of different closets. It would matter that you made a difference. You showed them your colours.

Sometimes in our lives. We all have pain. We all have sorrows. But if we would look and see, even though only through the key holes of our closet doors, we’ll know the joys that come

The Bible says, that though sorrow may last for a night, joy comes in the morning.

To see a generation where dreams are not shallow and shadowed by a lie but live to uphold true virtues.

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